waves

i am at the beach. it is almost past sunset, but i am not leaving. i refuse to leave, so everyone leaves without me. literally everyone leaves. i am the only one left on this beach. the water is black with the approaching night. although it should be darker, because i know its late, the sky is still orange. the sand isnt hard or soft, it just is. i realize that i am sitting on the sand, watching the large waves crash with no noise. i can only hear the wind. it's powerful and it whips my hair around, but i cant feel it on my face and my hair never blinds me. i stand up to walk towards the water. as i get closer to the blackness, the waves grow larger. about twice my height. but they arent menacing, they are welcoming. i close the gap between me and the waves finally. i cant reach the bottom anymore. i swim around and soon, i cant see the sand. i look down and cant see through the water to my body. i keep kicking knowing that i will get tired soon. i give up and float on my back. the waves get bigger. i feel like everytime one passes, i get closer to the sky and then sink into the ground. and then i see grandma fujimoto. she is standing on the beach which is visible again. i try to call out to her, but just like all dreams where you want to talk, i couldnt. i was worried now. i really wanted a chance to talk to her, but she couldnt hear me, because i couldnt yell. i tried to swim back to shore, but i couldnt. i was stuck in the waves. i felt dizzy and hot. i could still see grandma. it shocked me that she wasnt more worried about me. when i was young, she wouldnt let me ride my tricycle past the second line on the driveway. why was she letting me out in the ocean now?